When Sampson passed away 12 days ago, I became weak in the legs, felt very nauseated, experienced vertigo, threw up my insides twice in the first night, had such facial, ear, eye, and head pain that I considered going to the hospital, and felt like I couldn’t breathe. Over the course of the next week I cried without warning, felt chest pain when I thought of him and just wanted to lay down to cry my eyes out. This week has been a bit better though I still cry and miss him deeply.

So why tell you all this? When I experience traumatic events in my life they are almost always followed by a new attack within 4-6 weeks. A completely new symptom is added to my collection. It can be anything as you know, which is frightening. It is like watching out the window for the dark cloud. Armed with this knowledge I have worked hard to control this horrible experience I am having in my life right now. The first night was unbearable, I must admit and control was not in my power. Now that the initial shock is gone, I simply must keep things in perspective and find happiness despite my sorrow and loss.