The realization that my career was over caused me serious disappointment. I had achieved the point I wanted to be in, ready to spread my wings as a superintendent of schools. My specialty was going to be financial recovery of failing districts and educational model revamp for schools failing the national standards of No Child Left Behind.
One night I passed out in the bathroom with no warning. The beginning of the end of my career was taking hold. A few months later the passing out included the inability to breathe. I had a brainstem lesion effecting the automation of my heart, breathing and later, body temperature. The dream of moving forward with a high stress superintendent position was over. My life had changed from tolerating, dealing with and overcoming MS symptoms, to fighting for my life. I want to note here, based on my research, brainstem lesions with these symptoms are extremely rare for MS patients. I had uncontrolled MS with significant progression in a short period of time due to the level of stress I was under and the fact that I was not taking the MS treatment as I should have been.
Leaving administration and realizing that my path turned down another road, I couldn’t help daydreaming about what might have been, the recent topic of PSYBLOG: Understand Your Mind’s article, “What Might Have Been: The Benefits of Counter-Factual Thinking.” Occasionally, I find myself contemplating what might have been though today, I try to stay focused on what is and what will be. Reading this article takes away the sting of guilt I experience when spending, or what I have considered wasting, time thinking about a life that wasn’t to be.
Today’s images comes from www.flickr.com/photos/pfv/2833168468. Check out PSYBLOG: Understand Your Mind’s article at: http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/05/what-might-have-been-the-benefits-of-counter-factual-thinking.php